Marriage Death Threat: The Love that Faded

Scripture: “You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered”  1Peter 3:7 And
“Likewise, older women are to show their reverence for God by their behavior. They are not to be gossips or addicted to alcohol, but to be examples of goodness. They should encourage the younger women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible and pure, to manage their households, to be kind, and to submit themselves to their husbands. Otherwise, the word of God may be discredited.” Titus 2:3-5

Thought: When my husband and I first got married, I always ran to greet him with a kiss and smile when he walked through the door. I had his dinner ready, his laundry clean, and we spent hours laughing and sharing our days. We were inseparable friends and we did everything together. In the seventh year of our marriage the shift began to change subtly. Our river of life ran dry. One day I was so depressed and realized “I didn’t really know who my husband was anymore.” How did our marriage drift and our love fade? I decided we needed some marital counseling. He was too embarrassed to seek help, even though he openly admitted he was feeling the same distance between us. We found a professional, Christian counselor who helped us to get in touch with who we are as individuals and as a couple how we related to each other. New knowledge taught us to understand one another’s love language and we learned the needs that each of us desired from one another. I thought and felt we were facing a Marriage Death Threat, but during counseling, we discovered our river of love had gone dry and baggage was weighing us down but our marriage was just bent and needed a revival. We were provided the keys to a Godly marriage by talking regularly, setting mutual goals for our marriage, planning the future together, playing together, cultivating shared interests and fanning the flame of romance.

Action: Plan a weekend away together and build your emotional closeness. The better you get along with each other, the better your sex will be and the less tempting other people and activities will be. Confide in your spouse rather than an opposite-sex friend. Guard your thoughts. Don’t risk fantasizing about other romantic attachments. Your actions will tend to follow your thoughts. Keep romance alive. Long-term marriage doesn’t have to become dull and boring, re-center your marriage in Father’s love. Keeping romance alive takes a conscious effort. It’s your choice to maintain the excitement and enchantment. Make a fresh start and commit to pray together daily.

Prayer: Lord, apart from you I desire nothing. I don‘t want to play mother, counselor, spiritual advisor or Holy Spirit in my husbands life. Help me not to take on this controlling behavior. I look forward to watching you God take our prayers and answer them beyond anything we could hope for or imagine. Amen

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